Haven't Joined Gentlemint Yet?

Join

The Tacks

Helpful Pages

The Reserve

Discover and discuss the manliest content on the Web

Unicorn Meat

Unicorns are mythical beasts, yet until now nobody has answered the age-old of question of what to do when a unicorn dies. You can't send a unicorn to a glue factory reserved for ordinary horses!

It turns out that the best usage of unicorn meat is to eat like spam from a can, and it is a fine delicacy.

The good people at ThinkGeek have contracted with a Radiant Farms in Ireland, a farm dedicated to nursing aging unicorns into their final days on this earth. At the Farm they're given a diet high candy corn, which helps with the marbling of the unicorn meat.

Once the creatures have passed to the next life, instead of going to the glue factory, the unicorns are then quartered, shrunken and then canned for your consumption.

While the USDA and FDA have yet to give the green light on the approval of unicorn meat, the sellers claim that nuns have been consuming it for centuries without any side affects.

OK, it's not real unicorn meat. Each can has pieces of stuffed unicorn. You can't eat it.

But it still looks great on the pantry shelf.