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They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body (of which there is irrefutable photographic evidence on your Apricorn USB Encrypted Drive). Well, this hot sauce will test not only the strength of your tongue, but it will also challenge your…other body parts too. We’re talking about Professor Phardtpounders Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce ($8.00). This potent “elixir of capsaicin extremus” is a delightful Caribbean mustard sauce with a heat level of 8 and the deadly desire to rip right through your digestive system and tear out the other side. Whip out this flask bottle whenever you want to knock someone down a peg, get a few laughs, or if you just want to enjoy some island flavor with scotch bonnet peppers, mustard, salt, onions, turmeric and more. If you’re scared, just think of your tongue as the bouncer—if Professor Phardtpounder can get through him, your colon should be a-ok.

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