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Male friendship in America, at present, is in a bad way. As sociologist Lisa Wade reports, “Of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends. Moreover, the friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships.”

5 comments

  • elancaster65

    elancaster65 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    I think Broke Back Mountain and the invention of the word "bromance" along with the mainstreaming of homosexuality and the constant teasing that if you have a good male best friend then you are either a closet homosexual or you have latent homosexual tendencies.

    It's hard to be a man and have a really close male best friend without society, even in the evangelical church, having that subconscious thought flit through their minds, "are they gay?" And the stigma being gay has on straight males.

    In this instance, I think the radical gay agenda has scored a point. They've managed to seriously mar what was once a norm; two or three men who enjoy a close, brotherly relationship. The old, Brother from another Mother.

    I think for most men in the 21st century, a true, close, male best friend is a thing they don't have. I will give an exemption to those in the military. I know guys who served 20-30-40 years ago who still consider their friends in the service a brothers and pick right up where they left off 20-30-40 years ago and still experience the same, in-depth, friendship relationship they had back then.

    I, for one, haven't had a close, best friend since the late 80's. Yep...that long. I can blame my job or my penchant for being awkward in one-on-one situations but the bottom line is there is the underlying current of "they must be gay" running so swiftly through society that it grows tiring trying to explain to shrieking harridans that men can be friends and not be sexually or romantically attracted to each other.

    Which, IMHO, is why the Fast and Furious franchise resonates so much with the 20-30 somethings today.

    My 2 cents. Spend it as you like...

    Reply

    • daemon

      daemon 3 weeks, 6 days ago

      Oddly enough, I have always had at least one or two incredibly close male friends, both growing up, as well as now. I attended a private school with the same group of guys from pre-school to graduation, attended college with several and even served with a few in the Navy.

      But then, I AM gay, though my close friends are always heterosexual.

      They got a lot of shit for it, but a gentleman doesn't care about such things. My life is better, richer and stronger because they are in it. Let the harridans be damned.

      Reply

  • elancaster65

    elancaster65 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    “.::but a gentleman doesn’t care about such things.”

    Well said. I have 4 friends from high school that came out. Never once did it cross my mind to disown them, distance myself from them or to cast hate upon them. To me they were always Steve and Don and Charlie and Todd and they always will be even if we don’t see eye to eye on homosexuality.

    Reply

  • Chet_Manly

    Chet_Manly 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Great discussion and many things ring true. A personal friendship that runs deep is a thing of value! I have managed to hang on to a few and usually these quality relationship revolve around a few different things: lifting, or music, or some part of life that is experienced in a unique way which creates a connection/resonates.

    As one who moves frequently, I credit technology with helping to maintain these friendships that have become critical to who I am.

    Reply