I'll say in all seriousness that many teenagers I've interacted with (including some in my own family) would benefit from a properly applied spanking...the lack thereof being the most likely reason they behave like they do in the first place. As for adults.... Assuming these were serious responses, I'll need to spend some time and reflect on how much our society has really changed...
Spanking is immoral and ineffective form of changing child’s behaviour, sometimes even counterproductive.
It's immoral because it's basically assault on a child, you are causing pain and humiliation to change the child’s behaviour. Same thing that for instance a mugger does to make you give him your wallet and phone. You hit a random person on the street, you go to jail, you hit your wife, you go to jail, you hit your kid, and people call it spanking and parenting, and you are freaking 6 times larger than your kid, and your kid doesn't have an option to leave the relationship, like your wife could if you hit her.
It's ineffective because it achieves only temporary change of behaviour, doesn't address the reason why the kid has been "acting up". When you are hitting your kid, any effective communication and parenting stops.
It can be harmful because hitting teaches the kid that violence is an acceptable way of getting what you want, it harms the parent-child bond and trust(ie. your kids rather hide when they screw something up instead of coming for help and guidance), it increases the risk of mental and physical illness, like depression, anxiety, heart disease, obesity, cancer and so on.
I appreciate what you had to say and recognize the truth in it, however I can not agree. If you were a victim of abuse, I am sorry and my comments were not made in that light. It is a good thing that we can laugh about the silliness of "spanking" an adult because it is that far removed from a social norm. I disagree with you because I was a child that needed spanking and I owe my success in life to my father's willingness to spank me. I was never afraid of him, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I often didn't like him because he ruined my fun as a kid and he continued to find ways to help me control my behavior until I became an adult. Once I was old enough, sure reasoning works but as a kid, I couldn't have cared less. As a child, I was always given a warning before I received a spanking and I remember explaining my way out of one once. I had no tv, very few toys and was creative enough to make my own toys/fun. Spanking was the only thing I feared and rightfully so. It taught me impulse control: a foundation for being a success in America. The one spanking I received in school (it was the 80's) also caused me to perform much better academically and I reverse later the same day being grateful for it. I loved that teacher after that because I respected her. I have seen the exact same scenario occur with a nephew who went from being a brat to being a decent well adjusted kid because he was properly spanked when his behavior merited such action. There is no abuse there nor was there in my case. I don't know your back ground, but I assure you that when properly applied and coupled with love SOME children (I had a sister who never got spanked because she had the sense to listen and control her hands and mouth) benefit greatly from spanking because that is the only thing to which they pay attention. Perhaps we differ because I see it as a last result but an act of love and devoid of anger because that is how I experienced it....even though I hated it at the time.
When I posted this it's because I can remember a time in this country when a husband would spank their wife for correction. It was in movies, on TV, advertising even in comic books. I never held to that notion myself, I believed it to be ridiculous and still do. That said, I have no problem with spanking a child if warranted. Chet said it, "when properly applied and coupled with love" THAT is the key. It seems too many parents and particularly dads are shunning their responsibility as the leader in the home and leaving things up to an already over burdened wife. Being married is hard work, being the leader in the household is hard work, being a parent is hard work but, hard work reaps the best rewards. What it all boils down to is love and respect. Not the kind of "respect" punks and thugs toss around but the genuine respect that breeds honor and dignity. I know all about beatings and my kids NEVER got one, someone had to break the chain of abuse in my family and I was determined not to pass it along! With the help God, support and prayers of a loving wife I was able give my kids a better start at life than I had. I'm a high school drop out and got my GED when I was thirty five. I went to night school and was tutored by the same teachers my oldest daughter had in during the day in her high school. My kids today are college grads with one in grad school. That is their accomplishments not mine but I loved them enough to hold back emotions of my childhood to give them what was best for a healthy future. I turned my anger towards my parents into working with my hands. I've worked hard all my life, that has been my therapy. This has gone way off topic but I felt I needed to say it. If you are being abused or have been abused there are good people waiting to help you find a new life.
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Chet_Manly 9 years, 7 months ago
I'll say in all seriousness that many teenagers I've interacted with (including some in my own family) would benefit from a properly applied spanking...the lack thereof being the most likely reason they behave like they do in the first place.
As for adults.... Assuming these were serious responses, I'll need to spend some time and reflect on how much our society has really changed...
Reply
HerP 9 years, 7 months ago
Spanking is immoral and ineffective form of changing child’s behaviour, sometimes even counterproductive.
It's immoral because it's basically assault on a child, you are causing pain and humiliation to change the child’s behaviour. Same thing that for instance a mugger does to make you give him your wallet and phone. You hit a random person on the street, you go to jail, you hit your wife, you go to jail, you hit your kid, and people call it spanking and parenting, and you are freaking 6 times larger than your kid, and your kid doesn't have an option to leave the relationship, like your wife could if you hit her.
It's ineffective because it achieves only temporary change of behaviour, doesn't address the reason why the kid has been "acting up". When you are hitting your kid, any effective communication and parenting stops.
It can be harmful because hitting teaches the kid that violence is an acceptable way of getting what you want, it harms the parent-child bond and trust(ie. your kids rather hide when they screw something up instead of coming for help and guidance), it increases the risk of mental and physical illness, like depression, anxiety, heart disease, obesity, cancer and so on.
Anyhow, hope you find value in my arguments. :)
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Chet_Manly 9 years, 7 months ago
I appreciate what you had to say and recognize the truth in it, however I can not agree. If you were a victim of abuse, I am sorry and my comments were not made in that light. It is a good thing that we can laugh about the silliness of "spanking" an adult because it is that far removed from a social norm. I disagree with you because I was a child that needed spanking and I owe my success in life to my father's willingness to spank me. I was never afraid of him, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I often didn't like him because he ruined my fun as a kid and he continued to find ways to help me control my behavior until I became an adult. Once I was old enough, sure reasoning works but as a kid, I couldn't have cared less. As a child, I was always given a warning before I received a spanking and I remember explaining my way out of one once. I had no tv, very few toys and was creative enough to make my own toys/fun. Spanking was the only thing I feared and rightfully so. It taught me impulse control: a foundation for being a success in America. The one spanking I received in school (it was the 80's) also caused me to perform much better academically and I reverse later the same day being grateful for it. I loved that teacher after that because I respected her.
I have seen the exact same scenario occur with a nephew who went from being a brat to being a decent well adjusted kid because he was properly spanked when his behavior merited such action. There is no abuse there nor was there in my case.
I don't know your back ground, but I assure you that when properly applied and coupled with love SOME children (I had a sister who never got spanked because she had the sense to listen and control her hands and mouth) benefit greatly from spanking because that is the only thing to which they pay attention. Perhaps we differ because I see it as a last result but an act of love and devoid of anger because that is how I experienced it....even though I hated it at the time.
Reply
Memphiskc 9 years, 7 months ago
When I posted this it's because I can remember a time in this country when a husband would spank their wife for correction. It was in movies, on TV, advertising even in comic books. I never held to that notion myself, I believed it to be ridiculous and still do. That said,
I have no problem with spanking a child if warranted.
Chet said it, "when properly applied and coupled with love" THAT is the key.
It seems too many parents and particularly dads are shunning their responsibility as the leader in the home and leaving things up to an already over burdened wife.
Being married is hard work, being the leader in the household is hard work, being a parent is hard work but, hard work reaps the best rewards.
What it all boils down to is love and respect. Not the kind of "respect" punks and thugs toss around but the genuine respect that breeds honor and dignity.
I know all about beatings and my kids NEVER got one, someone had to break the chain of abuse in my family and I was determined not to pass it along!
With the help God, support and prayers of a loving wife I was able give my kids a better start at life than I had. I'm a high school drop out and got my GED when I was thirty five. I went to night school and was tutored by the same teachers my oldest daughter had in during the day in her high school.
My kids today are college grads with one in grad school. That is their accomplishments not mine but I loved them enough to hold back emotions of my childhood to give them what was best for a healthy future.
I turned my anger towards my parents into working with my hands. I've worked hard all my life, that has been my therapy.
This has gone way off topic but I felt I needed to say it. If you are being abused or have been abused there are good people waiting to help you find a new life.
Off my soapbox
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Chet_Manly 9 years, 7 months ago
That's a tremendous story, and you have my respect for it.
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